Author: imbuedexperiences
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Used to
When I was very young, I used to throw grass and other flowers in a wheelbarrow and pretend I was making potions. Everything was play, and I had an extreme amount of energy. Rambunctious some might call it. When I was working full time, I needed my lazy days to rest and recharge. Now that…
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Having to start from scratch
It’s something I’ve had to do too many times, and I really don’t want to abandon this project and start anew… yet again. But alas… People who should care are against me. People who have no reason to care are interferring for what? Probably taking and making bets on my death date. It’s not supportive.…
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One that wouldn’t
What makes a good neighbor? Go into your apartment when you weren’t there. One that keeps to themselves and minds their own business. One that will be honest and say they’ve known you your whole life, even if it jeopardizes some of their bullshit usery. One that wouldn’t use you for their personal gain and…
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MCT Oil and a non-keto cake
On my 32nd birthday, I enjoyed the best damn carrot cake I’ve ever had in my life. That was over 10 years ago now. Indeed, it was as low sugar as possible. My dietary needs at the time didn’t involve low sugar. I didn’t need to watch my weight and I didn’t need to worry…
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Demoting myself
When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)? I have given up on my career path to embrace the goal of manifesting a peaceful death. I recently abandoned my hope of a return to work, bought a really old type of phone on a pay as you go plan…
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Hope is dead
I closed the loop on my past yesterday. Realizing that no one is trusting or listening to me, and no one really hears what I am saying, or believes me. No one comes all the way through… seriously, how can they? My breath is slow as I write this. My chest aching, back breaking, cough…
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Making new friends
What was the hardest personal goal you’ve set for yourself? This is a difficult goal for me because I don’t know who to trust. There, there. Trust no one always, I tell myself as I hear bacon frying in the oven. Last night, I got a full night’s sleep, but I woke up and realized…
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Too much to tell
Too much has happened for me to convey. But, I feel that many people care, and there are options for how I live the rest of my life and still options to die with some dignity. Last week, I fought hard to be part of a support group that I couldn’t participate fully in. I…
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Baby steps and fighting big leaps
I have wound up in a situation where I have to trust that what people are saying about my treatment is correct. It’s very scary. I can’t retain much right now and the sheer volume of new prescriptions to get used to taking daily is a lot to take on. There have been some macabre…
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Inviting people over
I’m a scared little girl right now who has let fear of judgment hold her back from reaching out to people making friends. That’s just my feelings though. My actions have included putting effort into socializing. The connections I established with people this summer may not last. The solutions they offered may not help. I…
Imbued Experiences 